Feeling Stuck?

Have you ever had a moment when you realized that you’re not where you want to be? You keep trying and putting in the hard work, but your results fall short of what you’re trying for? I have been there and I am someone who does not like to be stuck. I always want to be getting better moving forward - getting stronger, smarter, and just over all better in all the areas of my life, my leadership, my heath, and fitness, my relationships, and my overall life.

This thought started when I looked in the mirror. I just got married this past year and I have put on some weight even though I have continued to exercises and have take care of myself. Just doing the same things over and over in my life was not enough to change the results I was getting. Later on that day as I thought “How did I get here?” I realized every step that I have taken in the past led me to where I am right now. Then it hit me. If I want to change my results I have to change what I am doing. My results are the by-product of what I have been doing. At this point I realized all my striving had not gotten me where I wanted to be and then I thought, “What you have been doing is getting the results that you are getting, so what needs to change in you to change what the impact of your life?”

I often think of things and how they parallel other areas in my life. So I took this same thought and applied it to the context of leadership and how what I am doing and what I have done shapes the people I lead and my own personal growth. I’m am going to share with you the ways I have taken this thought and used it to help me grow. I used simple steps to help me figure what needed to change. These steps are: reflect, pray, ask others ahead of you, and then slowly apply changes. My hope and prayer in writing this is that it may help you grow and become more of who God made you to be.

The first thing that I do to diagnose what I am doing is taking a heart check. Look at what you are doing through reflection. Many of us run so much and are so busy or focused on the task in front of us that we don’t take the time to actually look back at what we are doing and the effects of what we are doing on our lives and others. When I reflect I ask some simple questions. What have I been doing versus what I think I have been doing? How has what I have been doing affecting my mission? And lastly how has what I have been doing affecting others?

I often think of Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will”. One of the things that I pull from this verse when I read it is to ask God to open my eyes to what is going on in my life and pray for God to show me what I am doing that is hurting my mission and what am I trying to accomplish. Trusting and seeking after God will stir your heart and God will open your eyes to the direction that He wants you to go in. 

The next place I go is to my leadership and the people that I know that will tell me the truth and seek out wisdom. I also ask people who have already been where I am trying to get, or have over come what I am trying to fight or figure out. If you don’t have good leadership it is always a good idea to look for and ask other people that are getting the results that you are trying to get and ask them what the did or are doing to get those results. It is so often easy to look at people and think that they have it all together or it is just who they are that causes things to happen for them. More often than not it has taken very intentional actions to get to where they are. Another place in the Bible says, “that wisdom is gained through a multitude of consolers” Proverbs 11:4.

Once I have identified what I need to change its time to start making changes. I will not kid or mislead you this part is tough but in can be done. I like to think that change happens one small choice at a time. If you feel despaired about changing the best way to start is pick one small goal that is easily completed. For example if you are trying to get healthier then I would start small instead of changing my whole diet. I would simply change one thing that I eat or drink like if I eat a doughnut for breakfast I might change that to an egg or an apple. Then slowly add or take away things till I got to my goal diet. 

I want to share with you my story and how I have started to apply this thought in my life. I know one big thing in my leadership that poisons a lot of what I am trying to accomplish is how I think about and treat people. The culture I was raised in and the example of leadership was mostly fear based and not focused on people and helping them to become the best that they can be and discovering God’s calling on their life and how He is shaping them. This is a huge calling on my life, which I realized after reflecting and talking with my leadership. I realized that some of the things and behaviors that I was doing were having the opposite affect of what I was trying to do and I actually inhabited other’s growth and development in those that I lead. 

The two biggest things in my life that God put on my heart to change was trust and not just being an instruction giver, when I should be empowering the people around me to grow and develop. I decided I want to change from a taskmaster to an empowering leader. Once I knew the things that need to change I started with a small goal to start changing. My goal was to simply ask the people I am leading for their input. So when I am about to start a project I ask the person that I am working with their input or what part they would like to play or how they would they accomplish the task and we would come up with a plan together. Now contrast that to before where I would have just told them what they were going to do down to a T without allowing them any input at all. My change was just slowing down and asking a question. I was able to do this because I was aware of one of the things that I needed to change in my life. It was just one small thing that gives the people you are leading buy in and value. This has had a very positive impact on the others around me. As I slowly work toward changing the things I am doing it is having a great effect on the others and the atmosphere around me is changing and I am getting in the way less and less of the people I get to lead. 

I want to leave you with these final thoughts – What I am doing is getting me the results that I am getting, so what needs to change in me to become the person God is calling me to be. WE can do this through reflection, seeking God, seeking wisdom from the ones ahead and then starting with small steps to bring about change. This process reminds me of the bible verse  “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me,” and “Don’t give up on doing good for at the appointed time you will reap a harvest.” My hope and prayer is this helps you in your leadership and to become the person God is calling you to be. I love what Pastor Craig Groeschel says, “When the leader gets better everyone gets better” or wins!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and may God bless you!