Flexibility & Control: Tensions of Leadership
“The most incredibly interested thing about being a leader is what adjustments you make and how you make them while keeping your core principles alive and well.” – Mike Krzyzewski, Head Basketball Coach, Duke University, 5x NCAA Champion, 2x Olympic Gold
In my years of leadership, it has been hard to know what to be flexible with and what I need to control to make sure the dream, team, and organization is managed properly and in a growing, healthy state. Where is that line and how do you manage that tension?
To know how to manage the tension, it’s first important to know what each extreme looks like and what could look like in a healthy state.
Characteristics of controlling and flexible dreamers:
A totally flexible person will bend at the drop of a hat, change things on a dime and have no standard of operating. This can create confusion and frustration with the dream, your team, and yourself because there’s no standard, there’s no consistency with what’s happening. Leaving it based on how you feel at the moment or what criticism is given, things could change. Your dream has more riding on it to become inconsistent. The danger with dreamers is being emotionally tied to your dream. When you’re emotionally tied, feedback hurts because it’s personal not constructive and the giver of advice has no idea. A totally flexible person will also being on the lookout for God calling them to something and it can lead often to misinterpretation of personal voices and God’s voice. Having discernment between the two is crucial. Having a great group of people to run ideas by, praying a lot and having control enough to know if it’s the wrong voice are things keep your dream on the right track.
A healthy flexible person will be structured enough yet pliable to receive advice, criticism and feedback and then be able to filter it through their principles, standards and dream to see what fits and what doesn’t. It’s a low level emotion needed for this, so the dreamer must have an ability to let the standards and principles of God and the dream filter their decisions and outcome. If God is calling you to pivot and change directions, a healthy flexible person can see if it’s their voice, someone else’s or God’s and then make the moves needed.
A totally controlling person is referred to as a control freak or a micro-manager. This tendency doesn’t show itself when you’re the only one working in or on the dream, but bring others into the equation, and I guarantee they feel it. This leads to distrust amongst dreamers, burnout for everyone, frustration amongst the team and a lid on what God can do because it’s being limited by the controller.
A healthy controlling person knows what they and their dream stand for. They’re able to filter out emotion, trust people that support their dream, and have the ability to keep it on track when they feel it’s getting off track. They listen for the voice of God and tune out all other voices. Their distinct ability to know the difference between the different voices that speak keep their dream alive and in the right direction.
“It’s easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time than it is to hold to them 98% of the time, The boundary... is powerful, because you don’t cross it; if you have justified doing it once, there’s nothing to stop you doing it again.” – Clayton Chrisensen, Harvard Business School Professor and NY Time Best-Selling Author
You’re probably wondering, “Well what should I be controlling on consistent on and what should I be flexible on?” Great question, glad you asked! This is just my opinion, but this list has been flushed out over the years and experiences I’ve encountered.
Things to Be Consistent On:
1) You and your dream/organization’s values
2) The example you set as a leader
3) Focusing on growth
4) Holding yourself and people accountable to the standards and principles
Things to Be Flexible On (within the confines of vision & standards):
1) How you help the dream and people grow
2) Tactics and Strategy
3) Ownership & Control as you grow and let others step into authority and leadership
4) How to do/accomplish a job (different doesn’t always mean wrong)
The tension of being flexible and controlling is a hard one to balance. Pray to God that you keep managing it the way He would. With that humility, you’re less likely to be in a place of mismanaging the dream. In your seasons of leadership, being a healthy flexible person and a healthy controlling person with keep you in a healthy, growing place.